


Anyway the wind blows *DISCONTINUED*

by Scarymarshmallows



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Coping, I dont know how to tag, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sad Katsuki Yuuri, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, This is before Victor becomes his coach hah, Victor saves him with love, sad yuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2018-10-21 03:50:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10677096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarymarshmallows/pseuds/Scarymarshmallows
Summary: Yuuri deals with more then he can handle and ends up doing worse to his body then he knew. Victor hopes to help the man he has slowly fallen in love with.*DISCONTINUED*





	1. Chapter 1

The glare of the ice left my eyes stinging as i walked off of said ice, just wanting to get away and retreat into the shadows once more. The crushing defeat left the rest of the day feeling like a dream, almost a nightmare. I now lay on my bed, staring at almost nothing, before lowering my hands to my face and sobbing out whatever emotion i had left. I awoke to gentle birds chirping outside my window, surprising me that i actually fell asleep through the god awful night. Stumbling to the bathroom, I looked at my awful and heartbreaking appearance before throwing water on my face to try to 'freshen' up my face. I trudged to my room and started to pack up, ready to go home and lock myself in my room for years. I reached to put my arm into the coat sleeve, before something caught my eye making me stop. Cuts. The tightness in my stomach grew, making me double over onto the ground. The tightness released some of its grip after a few minutes. The memory rushed back into my mind, Me standing above the sick and grabbing a razor blade i had in my suitcase and... watching the blood drip. My hands and legs shook as i stood up to look if i made any visible mess on the bed sheets, which i did not, but the sink needed cleaning. I scrubbed the dried blood and gripped the blade in my hand disgustedly. I promised I wouldn't use it, but i ended up doing just that. The tightness gripped back as i threw the blade into the deepest part of my suitcase before continuing to the door and locking it. The hallway was an empty sight, as i continued to the elevator. I arrived at the air port quicker then i expected and got everything settled, before sitting and preparing myself mentally to go back home and face everyone after so long. The boarding started, allowing everyone who was flying, onto the plane. The gentle sounds of the passengers lulled me back into a deep but dreamless sleep..


	2. Wishing the light back into my eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unhealthy Yuuri :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for a long break from this story, I've been awfully busy with things, and threw what i could together. I'm trying to keep to the original story, but i will be adding and removing some parts, to make it more 'angsty' Enjoy,

**_!Warning! This chapter will have a 'detailed' description of a panic attack, and bad  coping skills (like digging into your skin to draw blood to feel at ease), take care of yourselves, Don't be afraid to message me if you ever need anyone to talk/vent to, I love ya'll <3_ **

 

Jolting awake, I heard the rustle of the passengers gathering their stuff and heading off the plane, so i did the same, trying to keep a healthy and happy look on my face as i walked off. Getting home and dealing with the passing of Vicchan, i was emotional immediately, and quickly went to the old ice rink that another family friend owned. I haven't seen anyone in years, so having them all welcome me back with open arms felt great, but the oncoming dread settled hard in my gut. When i got there i was bombarded with love and care, it just felt selfish of me to be so saddened. After getting on the ice, I skated to the best of my abilities to show a 'Not depressed' kind of tone, when on the inside i was silently praying for the ice to swallow me whole, so i could never see the light of day again. I got back home after getting embarrassed by her whole family, to see my mother carrying towels before asking me if i'd like to eat anything before bed. Shaking my head, i walked past her, hearing her response like white noise inside my head.

 

I woke with a start, just like on the plane and looked over at the clock. _2:00 AM_ It's red flashing light taunting me out of bed to unplug the damn thing. I reached into my bag to grab what was left of my medication, only to pull up air.

... **Where are my pills.**

Beads of sweat form on my brow as i tear through my bag looking for the things that keep me 'sane'. The familiar tightness gripping at my chest suffocating my lungs making my breath come out as puffs. The flush of hot shame floods through my body as i sit back trying to catch my breath and rip out of the panic. Feeling lightheaded, i grip onto my arm and stab my fingers into the skin enough to make it bleed and sting. The room feels small and stuffy as i try to calm down, i tilt my head back on my bed as breathing starts to become a little easier. A panic attack over losing some medication, I really hit my lowest point. The sting of my arm draws me back to, and i look down, blood dribbles down my arm from where i dug in. I wince pulling my hand away before sighing and wiping the blood with a random tissue on the ground. Stumbling slightly, i manage to get back onto my bed without falling and drift off into a dreamless cold sleep.

 

 

A/N: A bad panic attack i had was walking through a zombie maze thing, It wasn't scary, i just panicked because the 'fog' from multiple smoke machines was messing with my asthma and made it hard to breathe. Panicking was a bad option, but it's what i did. At least we went through it quicker! Panic can happen over nothing, and sometimes even your own thoughts, be careful out there <3


	3. DISCONTINUED

Sorry guys, I haven't had the time or energy lately to write, sorry to cut this short.

**Author's Note:**

> I do hope this is alright, It's a vent-ish story i threw together, I'm sorry, I'll try to keep it interesting.


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